Agent Cooper ([info]agentcooper) wrote,
@ 2008-08-03 19:06:00
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"Until it goes *click*"
I leave the garage door open while doing yard work out front. The lawn mower and other implements of destruction travel through there from the shed out back.

Today while cutting the grass, I realized some dumb cunt in gangbanger red was standing next to his Honda, the back trunk open, 30 feet from my garage. There are no houses or businesses on that side of the street, he doesn't live on my block, no reason for him to be there. Just standing by his trunk, obviously waiting to yank something from my garage.

Unbelievable!

I don't know what he thought he'd get. The TV is worth $15. Good luck taking the elliptical trainer. Maybe he thought he'd get the bike, but I keep it locked up. Because of idiot homeboys.

I thought about walking over and showing him my fucking gun. But then I remembered I don't own a gun. Partly because of my temper.

I went about my yard work, thinking, "He can't really be THAT stupid." Idly practicing my Police Report skills: silver-blue Honda 2-door, tall skinny black male 18-25, red baseball cap. Couldn't read the plate without walking towards him.

As soon as I closed my garage door he got in his car, started it, and drove off.

Of course my worry now is that he'll be dumb enough to come back, try to break in. Which would be fine, if only I were there to catch him. With a hammer.



(8 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]poupou
2008-08-04 07:12 am UTC (link)
Ugh.

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[info]kalimdor_wilson
2008-08-04 07:52 am UTC (link)
This is precisely what napalm is for.

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[info]panserbjorne
2008-08-04 12:26 pm UTC (link)
When your only weapon is a hammer, everything is a...

oh, nevermind.

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[info]wasta
2008-08-05 04:58 am UTC (link)
Good one.

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[info]agentcooper
2008-08-05 05:12 am UTC (link)
"These fists aren't the hammer. The hammer is my penis."

- Captain Hammer

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[info]wasta
2008-08-05 04:58 am UTC (link)
I can't wait to share your place. Maybe I should move in when it's dark, so they can't see my $100 PC.

We need a century gun for the garage. And maybe one for the living room.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]agentcooper
2008-08-05 05:09 am UTC (link)
What's a century gun?

Or did you mean sentry gun? :-D

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[info]wasta
2008-08-05 05:16 am UTC (link)
Yeah, that one. The "set it and forget it" model.

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(8 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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